


Merry Kinkmas

by childofthemuses



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Gaping, Anal Sex, Blindfolds, Butt Plugs, Christmas, Christmas Smut, Crack Fic, Established Relationship, Flogging, Fluff and Smut, Gags, Hair-pulling, I don't know where the fluff came from, Knife Play, M/M, Nipple Piercings, Non-Consensual Bondage, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Predicament Bondage, Shibari, Smut and Crack, Sounding, Teasing, as always, how is that already a tag, noncon/dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:15:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21944212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childofthemuses/pseuds/childofthemuses
Summary: It's Christmas Eve and Kinky Klaus is making his rounds, leaving gifts for good boys and punishing naughty sluts.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron), Klance - Relationship
Comments: 29
Kudos: 268





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Straight up? This is crack.  
> *Watch dubcon/noncon warning please!!!*  
> Basically...there's a Santa for kinksters, and unfortunately he deems Lance as being naughty.  
> Enjoy my terrible rhyming x

_Twas the night before Christmas aboard the Castle of Lions_

_Every paladin was sleeping, all snoring and sighing._

_All except one, riding his dildo with discretion_

_Good thing ol’ Kinky Klaus was there to teach him a lesson._

_The Blue paladin thrust, down and up, unaware of the price_

_As Kinky Klaus was checking his list once and then twice._

_'This simply won’t do' he thought, crumpling his list into rubbish_

_He couldn’t let such a naughty boy escape unpunished._

*****

Lance tried to struggle, but whatever being had a hold of him was far too strong, keeping a firm grip as he manoeuvred Lance’s body into the desired position.

Ribbon stretched across his tan skin, a stark and festive red as it wrapped his naked body tightly into a shibari prison: his forearms were bound to one another at his back, calves tied to thighs with criss-crossing leg ties to ensure he couldn’t stand. Loops of ribbon were slipped in the bends of his knees and pulled firmly, forcing a strain in his hip as his knees were brought up high enough to sit in line with his elbows, spreading his legs and leaving him exposed with legs held high.

He had been grabbed as he rode his dildo, trying to have some discreet fun in the middle of the night. He couldn’t sleep: they had worked out that it was Christmas Eve on Earth, and he had been left feeling homesick. Wanting to distract himself and not walk to Keith’s room and wake him, he had turned to his trusty dildo.

A silk tie had descended over his eyes, being tied tightly at the back of his head to ensure he couldn’t see. As he opened his mouth to yell for help, soft cloth was forced between his teeth to stifle the noise before a strip of tape was placed over his lips to keep the gag in place.Then the tying had begun, Lance’s body being forced into the position his attacker desired and tied until the ribbon held him immobile.

Kinky Klaus was displeased: this slut had been such a good boy all year, only to fall at the final hurdle. He checked his list again, ensuring that Keith was deserving of the gift he planned to give.

Happy that the red paladin’s name was still firmly on the ‘good’ list, he retrieved what Keith truly desired: a hand-moulded posture collar made for Lance and Lance alone. The stiff leather travelled up over the jaw and mouth, stopping just below the nose to ensnare the lower half of Lance’s face. Lance struggled as the collar was laced in place, grunting as it forced his neck to elongate and settled just below his nostrils, the leather heating as his panicked breaths burst across its surface.

He rifled through his sack, sure to leave a few new toys for the paladin to use on this disobedient slut.

Lance gasped as he felt the cold spike of lube being poured over his hole. He cried out into his mask as fingers entered him, no preamble required after his secret promiscuous activities in the dead of night. Ensuring that his hole was loose, Kinky Klaus retrieved his next toy: a very large butt plug. It’s tip expanded into a cone which Lance took easily enough, his hole clenching as the plug narrowed – but this was only the plug's first level.

The plug continued to widen, suddenly narrowing off again before expanding a final time to reach the end of the plug. It was green and Kinky Klaus smiled sadistically at the extra-large butt plug that looked like a minimalist Christmas tree.

Lance groaned and squirmed as the huge plug was worked into him: he had taken the first two levels of it okay, but the third was proving difficult. The strong hands in control of him were persistent, continually working the plug deeper and deeper until – relieved and fit to burst – the widest part of the plug disappeared into his ass and his hole clenched tight around the base.

He breathed heavily, trying to relax to accommodate the giant plug filling him. His world flipped as he was manhandled into sitting up: the base of the plug held a large, strong suction cup that Kinky Klaus pressed into the ground, leaving Lance impaled atop the plug with his legs still spread wide by the ribbon, and no way to reduce the pressure of his weight pressing onto the plug, his hole straining under the strain.

Lance tried desperately to lie back down, to stop the press of the plug that was leaving him breathless, but it was useless: the suction cup was too strong, and he didn’t have the manoeuvrability or momentum to free himself from the uncomfortable predicament.

Despite himself he moaned as fingers traced over his nipples and fiddled with the piercings there. Kinky Klaus removed the metal bars to replace them with new ones, each with a bead that looked as though a lion was biting into the flesh, their sharp metallic teeth pressing into the sensitive nubs and making Lance gasp. With fine thread he tied a short loop to the bars and hung bells from them – every desperate struggle Lance tried atop his plug resulted in a pretty tinkling of sleigh bells from his chest, making his cheeks redden at the sound of his useless squirming.

Only one gift left in his sack...

It was small – a candy cane of spiralling red and white glass that could have the innocent explanation of being a festive decoration. Kneeling down, Kinky Klaus poured lube onto the non-hooked end of the cane. He grasped Lance’s twitching cock – hard and showing an interest despite himself – and traced the cane’s end around the slit at the tip of Lance’s cock.

Lance squealed into leather, trying to shake his head but the collar holding firm as Kinky Klaus pressed the sound into the head of his cock. His body shook desperately as the foreign feeling of smooth, cold glass was pressed down the centre of his cock. He groaned as the sound worked deeper and deeper until his cock head reached the end, the curved end hooking over his head and settling lightly atop his glans. He tried to strain – to push – but the sound didn’t even slightly shift, settled deep within his cock and creating a feeling of a newfound pressure within him.

Despite himself, his cock was rock hard around the glass rod that penetrated him, feeling as though pressure were building with the desperate need to cum as the sound kept him plugged tight. He moaned into his gag: in the darkness of his blindfold he couldn’t escape the feeling of the sounding rod or the plug filling him and keeping him sitting upright.

Kinky Klaus gathered his things to leave, satisfied with his work. Lance was sat up poker-straight, plug keeping him in position as his body strained against the bonds of the red ribbon. His shoulders flexed as he pulled against where his arms were held behind him, his knees held high and to the side to keep him on full display. Lance’s neck was stretched, keeping his head held up and regal-looking. The bells tinkled lightly as he struggled to breathe evenly around the plug that seemed to fill him so completely that his lungs had no room to expand, nipples red from the press of the lions’ teeth. His cock twitched pathetically up towards his belly, the enticing red and white swirl of the candy cane’s tip curving out from his slit. He moaned a pathetic, filthy sound, not sure if he wanted freed or for the hands to return and play with him.

Pleased with his work Kinky Klaus left, aware of his time constraints and unable appreciate the view of the blue paladin any longer. He closed the door and sealed Lance in the dark, helpless to wait for someone to come by and discover him.

The bells tinkled lightly in the darkness, a large red ribbon encircling his throat and tied into a pretty bow with a gift tag hanging below:

_This boy needs taught some manners._

_Merry Kinkmas Keith,_

_xXx_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith wakes up on Christmas morning to find a surprise gift waiting on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for continuing this madness.   
> I need stopped. 
> 
> *It's late and I haven't edited it. I will read over and fix any glaring mistakes tomorrow. But for now, be kind x

Keith grabbed the wrapped gift before leaving his room: it was still early and he knew the rest of the team would still be fast asleep, shattered after Shiro pushed them extra hard in training the day before to make up for the break they were taking today. Which meant it was the perfect time to wake his boyfriend with a little Christmas morning surprise.

Little did he know he would be the one getting the surprise.

Keith stood frozen in the doorway, mouth dry, as he took in his boyfriend. Lance’s head had raised at the sound of the door opening, mumbling behind the leather covering his mouth, body straining in place at the idea of being freed.

The present almost slipped right through his fingers. He had to physically close his mouth before stepping inside and letting the door close after him, turning to activate the lock and ensure no one would be disturbing them. He walked across to his boyfriend, running a tracing finger over his shoulder before gripping the gift tag and turning it to the light.

“Been naughty, have we?” He said with a smirk, noting how Lance’s breath deepened at the sound of his voice. How long had he been here, Keith wondered, waiting in the darkness, letting the anticipation of Keith’s eventual arrival build. Wrapped up tight with red ribbon and a bow - it was easily the best gift Keith had ever received.

Keith flicked one of Lance’s red nipples, listening to the sleigh bell jingle along with Lance’s shudder. He couldn’t stop his hands from running over Lance, the contrast between his skin bulging around the silky ribbon, fingers moving up to touch the posture collar. Keith had _dreamed_ of seeing Lance restrained in one of these: his slender neck elongated so gracefully, a beautiful accessory on him that kept him nice and quiet. He loved how the leather pressed into his cheeks, how his flesh bulged slightly over the top. Following his sadistic streak he brought his fingers to Lance’s nose and pinched his nostrils shut.

Lance grew tense beneath his fingers, letting out a muffled cry as he tried to shake Keith off and grab a breath. But between the collar and the shibari there was no escaping, forced to succumb his ability to breathe to Keith’s control.

Lance’s cheeks grew red, trembling beneath Keith’s hands and setting the bells jingling. It was adorable – Keith leaned forwards and placed a slow kiss on the leather over Lance’s lips, taking his time with the perverse forced kiss before relinquishing his hold and listening to Lance’s desperate breaths, nostrils flaring as he tried to catch his breath.

He reached down and fingered at Lance’s hole, finding it stretched and quivering around the wide base of a plug. He tried to press a finger alongside, to feel just how the plug was filling him, but was surprised to find Lance was so full he couldn’t fit.

Keith reached and pried the suction cup from the floor, letting Lance’s weight press against him before he bundled him in his arms and moved him to the bed. He settled him down on his back, letting him attempt to writhe against the sheets before he slipped the blindfold off.

“Mmph!” Lance’s eyes were a vibrant blue, squinting against the harsh light as he looked up at Keith.

“Merry Christmas baby – I love my present.” Keith grinned, pulling at some of the ribbons across Lance’s chest and loving the feeling of taut muscle squirming beneath him. He reached a hand to the small of his back, retrieving his Marmoran blade and pulling it out to let the luxite catch the light. Lance’s eyes widened as Keith’s grin turned carnal, sharp teeth in a predatory grimace, “Ready for me to unwrap you?”

Lance’s struggling stilled, his body lying frozen under the threat of Keith’s knife. He brought the sharp blade down, tracing the tip teasingly across Lance’s skin, leaving goose bumps in its wake. Lance held his breath in anticipation as the metal trailed across his skin with the barest of touches.

“Patient boy,” Keith said, crawling onto the bed and straddling Lance. “So good, keeping still for me. Or do you just want me to let you out?” He trailed the knife down Lance’s stomach, tapping the flat metal of the blade against the sound penetrating his hard cock, Lance physically straining to keep his hips still. “Desperate for me to play with you?”

Lance’s breathing was hitched, his cock twitching up towards the blade, swollen and holding tight around the sound. With his free hand Keith hooked the tip of the sound and gently pulled an inch from Lance’s cock, slowly fucking the sound in and out of him, watching the red and white spiral disappearing into his cock. Lance let out a strangled garble into his gag, eyes still trained on the blade as Keith delighted in teasing the sensitive nerves rubbing against the sound.

Keith released Lance’s cock, returning his attention to the knife and releasing Lance from his bindings. The tip of the blade caught on one length of ribbon, teasing against it for a moment before slicing cleanly through. Keith watched the tenseness in Lance’s muscles, how tightly wound his body was as Keith slowly destroyed the harness keeping him bound. He sighed in relief as Keith released the ties holding his legs up, allowing them to relax into a more comfortable position. With one continuous slice Keith cut the ribbons keeping his legs bound bent, watching Lance stiffly stretch the joints with a relieved groan.

“That better baby?” Keith placed the knife down on Lance’s chest, tip pointing towards Lance’s throat as he growled, “Don’t move,” as he massaged at the marks in Lance’s skin, trying to relieve some of the discomfort. Lance’s eyes fluttered shut as Keith worked at his sore muscles, trying to do as he was told and not jostle the knife. His shoulders were stiff and painful, his arms still bound at his back but Keith showed no interest in completely releasing him any time soon.

“Would you like to see what I got you for Christmas?” Keith asked, retrieving his knife to catch the thread on his nipples with the tip and pull, setting the bell jingling as it tugged on the piercings.

Lance’s answer was a muffled groan, eyes tearing from the treatment.

“Lets get you on your knees then.” Keith returned his knife to its sheath before gripping Lance’s shoulders and sitting him up, guiding him onto his front so his face pressed into the bed. He stayed up on his knees, leaving his ass presented high in the air for Keith’s viewing pleasure.

He grabbed Lance’s hair, tugging his head up as far as he could with the collar on and listened to Lance’s pained grunt. “Now you stay on your knees,” Keith warned. “Falling on that sound wouldn’t be good, would it?”

Lance lightly shook his head, and Keith released his hair with a satisfied, “Good boy.”

Retrieving the gift Keith stood where Lance could watch as he unwrapped the paper, ripping through without much preamble – Lance loved to savour opening his gifts and building the anticipation. With Lance tied down like this Keith could skip the unnecessary wait. He dropped the paper to the ground, letting Lance take note of the gift.

His eyes widened.

Keith grinned, swaying the flogger back and forth slowly, “Want me to give you some bruises for Christmas baby?”

“Mmph!” Lance cried out as the leather of the flog hit the flesh of his ass, quickly returning to slap against the other cheek to leave reddening skin behind.

The flogger had made Keith think of Lance as soon as he laid eyes on it: genuine leather (though from _what_ Keith couldn’t tell you) dyed the same blue as Lance’s own lion. The leather was soft but, when used correctly, had a sharp bite to it that was full of surprises. He knew he needed to use it on Lance, watch the slap of stark blue against red flesh.

He draped the leather tendrils over Lance’s ass, building anticipation as he let Lance get a feel of what would come. With a flick of his wrist Lance was groaning as Keith flogged his ass, determined to mark every inch of skin, throwing in a couple of hard hits to make Lance cry out. His hands were fisting where they were bound at his back, straining against the ribbon and trying to twist free, to squirm away from Keith’s onslaught.

He dropped the flogger by Lance’s head, running his hands over the hot cheeks, feeling the swollen ridges that were beginning to develop. Lance whimpered pathetically, sensitive to the touch.

Feeling sorry for him, Keith undid the back of the posture collar, lifting it away and letting Lance relax his neck. He peeled at the tape over his mouth gently, doing his best not to cause discomfort, and reached in to remove the cloth that had been stuffed inside. He leaned down and took Lance’s dry lips in his own, moving easily together as Keith traced a hand through his hair.

“K-keith,” Lance gasped, tears in the corners of his eyes. “Please, take it out. It’s too big!”

Keith ran a hand down Lance’s back, over the hot swell of his ass to rest against the base of the plug. He experimentally increased pressure on it, watching Lance gasp and try to squirm away.

“Ah ah,” Keith tutted, giving Lance a punishing swat to his ass, “I told you to keep your hips up. If you can’t be a good boy I won’t give you a reward.”

“I’m s-sorry, sir,” Lance stuttered, trying desperately to keep still as Keith fiddled with the plug, whimpering low in his throat from the feeling.

Keith decided to finally do as he had been asked, making sure to move with the speed of a glacier as he began to pull on the plug. Lance’s fingernails dug divots into his palms as the plug forced his hole wide again, struggling not to clench down to lessen the discomfort.

“Relax baby,” Keith shushed him, rubbing calming circles into the small of Lance’s back as a level of the plug popped out. “You’re doing so good.”

Keith couldn’t quite believe the size of the plug that Lance had been holding, watching as the second level pulled free of Lance’s hole, the edges puckered and swollen from the abuse it had been through.

The final level slipped out easy enough after the previous levels, Lance’s hole hanging loose and gaping after accommodating the hole. Keith dropped the plug, fingering at his hole, feeling just how stretched out he was. He slipped his index and middle fingers from both hands inside to pull the hole open, marvelling at how loose Lance was around him.

“I could just slide on in there baby,” Keith said, reaching a finger inside to massage the stretched passage, smirking as he traced over Lance’s prostate.

“Fuck, Keith,” Lance gasped. “Please.”

“Please what?” He pressed at Lance’s prostate again, insistent circles until Lance began to grind back against him before pulling away and making his boyfriend grunt in irritation.

“Fuck me!” Lance demanded.

That earned him another hard swat against his sensitive ass, setting him howling as he cried, “Please Keith! Please, please – I need you. I need you!”

Pretty good begging – Keith could listen to Lance’s sweet mewling all day. He decided he would take pity on the poor paladin. It was Christmas after all – a time for giving.

He lined himself up between Lance’s already spread legs, slipping his sweatpants down to pull his cock out. He barely needed to apply lube before slipping into Lance’s loose hole, sloppy with lube from applying the plug.

“Fuck baby,” Keith said through grit teeth, already able to start thrusting into Lance. “You’re so loose – I bet we could fit another cock in here, if we wanted to.”

Lance moaned as Keith hooked a couple of fingers into his hole, tightening the flesh around his cock. He didn’t hold back as he pounded into Lance’s ass, his hips slapping off of his cheeks as Lance’s mouth dropped open in an almost continuous moan. It was a filthy noise: he was so desperate to cum after so long waiting for Keith.

“The s-sound Keith,” Lance moaned, voice ringing off the walls. “Please, take it out!”

“Aw, you want to cum baby boy?” Keith teased with a smirk, grinding his hips down to ensure his cock head rubbed Lance’s prostate.

Lance’s voice was a broken wreck as he cried out, “Please!” into the bed covers, chest racketing a pathetic sob.

Keith stilled his hips, taking hold of the sound and pulling it most of the way out, leaving the remaining inch in place as he began to move again. “Ask me,” Keith growled.

“Please! Please, Keith – please let me cum.”

“Again!”

“Fuck – please Keith! Fucking let me cum – please! I-”

Keith removed the sound before Lance stopped talking, loving how Lance’s words morphed into a scream as he came the instant the sound was gone. That loose hole clenched down around Keith’s cock as best it could as Lance shook and shivered, crying into the bed covers from the intensity as he screamed his throat raw.

Casting the sound aside Keith pulled out of Lance, feeling guilty for the shudders of overstimulation as he did so. He stood of the bed to stand by Lance’s face and began to thrust into his own hand. Lance looked up at him, a cloud of exhaustion in his eyes as he watched Keith jerk himself off. As Keith’s breath began to hitch Lance opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, ready to catch any drops of cum.

That was the final straw – Keith groaned as he fucked into his hand and milked his orgasm for all it was worth, shooting cum across Lance’s face. Lance looked satisfied as he closed his mouth and swallowed the cum on his tongue, licking at his lips and sighing contently.

Breathless, Keith leaned down and cupped Lance’s cheek in his palm, regardless of the cum coating it. “You’re such a good boy,” Keith told him before leaning forward and kissing Lance in far too sweet a manner after what the pair of them had just been up to.

He broke off the kiss, dropping a light peck to the tip of Lance’s nose. “Just wait here, okay? I’ll tidy you up.”

Lance was happy to just do that, moaning as Keith finally cut the ribbon binding his arms. Keith rolled him onto his side and removed the nippy piercings, replacing them with Lance’s regular bars that were sitting on his bedside table.

Lance appeared to doze off, so Keith slipped into his en-suite to run warm water into the large Altean bath. The edges of the tub were lined with copious bottles that Lance used for his beauty regime. They were a collection of different alien languages, products collected from cross the galaxy on Voltron’s travels. Unsure what he was using he poured several products into the bath before finding one that began producing a generous amount of lilac-coloured foam.

Keith returned to the bedroom and scooped Lance up into his arms, instantly feeling his boyfriend snuggle into his chest. He laid Lance into the tub with a content sigh before stripping off and joining him, crawling in behind so his legs straddled Lance and allowed him to lean back against Keith’s chest without threat of drowning.

As Lance came back around Keith massaged at his stiff shoulders, trying to alleviate the pain there from the bindings. He then moved up and scratched at Lance’s scalp, asking him which product to use to shampoo the short strands.

Lance melted into goo beneath his hands as Keith pampered him, humming contently until he took a deep breath. Eyes opening, he turned to side-eye Keith as he asked in a serious voice, “Keith, did you use my face wash as bubble bath?”

“I…I don’t know,” Keith said, concerned. “Maybe?”

Lance rolled his eyes, a soft smile on his lips as he turned back around to let Keith massage conditioner into his hair, “I don’t know why I date you – you’re an idiot.”

“Sorry,” Keith chuckled.

“If you’ve wasted it all,” Lance warned, “I’ll be demanding you return to Vorten-13 and get me more. I’m not joking.”

“Yes sir,” Keith promised, placing a light kiss to the back of Lance’s neck.

The water had long gone cold, their fingers wrinkled and pruned, before the pair removed themselves from the bath. They stood together and leaned against one another as the drying pod blasted them with pleasantly warm air until they were completely dry, emerging to slip on sweatpants and return to the bed. Keith had cleared the toys and the two could slip amongst the sheets, Lance instantly snuggling into the warmth of Keith’s chest.

“So who did you enlist to help get you tied up for me?” Keith asked, arm wrapped around Lance’s shoulders.

Lance grew stiff against him, turning to him with wide eyes, “It…it wasn’t you?”

Keith gave him a quizzical look, his eyebrow raising as he said, “No? It wasn’t you?”

Lance slowly shook his head.

“But then…” Keith said, reaching to the bed table where he had left the gift tag, “Who wrote this”?

Lance read over it, snatching it into his hands. “xXx…no. No, it can’t be.”

Lance’s voice was firmly in denial, but Keith was still confused as all hell. “Can’t be what?”

“Ronnie – Veronica, my sister – she once told me this story…” Lance started, biting at his thumbnail as he sat up and read the gift tag again just to be sure. “But that’s all it was, just a story.”

“What story?”

“Kinky Klaus, Keith!” Lance cried, as though Keith would knew what he meant.

He did not.

“Kinky Klaus – you know, rewards the good boys and punishes the bad. Signs with a triple X – Kinky Klaus!”

“That…that explanation does not clear up as much as you seem to think it does.”

“What the hell…” Lance shuddered. “Who knew – he’s real.”

“There could be another explanation-”

“Well you tell me it – until then, I am certain that we were visited by Kinky Klaus. Where else would all the gifts have come from.”

“So you didn’t buy those either?”

Lance groaned, rolling his eyes. “Keep up Keith – of course I didn’t!”

“I-I-,” Keith stuttered. “I…honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to say. How the hell did an intruder get on board without us knowing?”

“He has magical kinky powers, Keith! How else?”

Keith found himself laughing, unable to contain himself with what Lance had just said.

“You don’t believe me,” Lance said, pouting.

“Not at all! Come on,” Keith said, gripping his hand and pulling him to his feet. “Let’s check the Castle cameras and catch a glimpse of Kinky Klaus.”

“Okay, hearing the name out of your mouth, I now kind of get why you were laughing…”

“You want to catch him or not?” Keith said, tugging his hand towards the door.

Lance grinned, stopping for a moment to grab his bayard. “Sure I do! Come on – let’s go catch the mystical creep that snuck into our house!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I have no words.   
> But a few of you seemed to like it so oops, I wrote the follow-up already.   
> I hope you enjoyed this very weird fic that my brain birthed.  
> Until next time x

**Author's Note:**

> So that was a thing...  
> I honestly have no explanation.  
> This came to me while driving today, and I figured why the hell not write this crack.  
> I hope this made sense - I can so clearly see the image of how Lance would be left to wait but I'm worried it got a bit convoluted...  
> I wish I could draw - it would have been a lot less confusing than that spiel. But hey ho, work with what you've got!
> 
> Merry Christmas, you filthy animals xx


End file.
